These tests are optional, and you have every right to deny the officer’s request; but they present a perfect opportunity to prove your sobriety. Unfortunately, if you make a few uncoordinated moves, you’re off to the station. A good way to pass is to know what you are up against. Here are some common Field Sobriety Tests, the signs of intoxication, and how to beat them.
Horizontal Gaze Nystagmus
* Instructions: The officer positions an object 12 – 15 inches from the drivers face; then moves the object from side to side asking the driver to follow it with his or her eyes.
* Signs of Intoxication: Involuntary jerking of the eyeball.
* How to beat it: “The consumption of common substances such as caffeine, nicotine, or aspirin also leads to nystagmus almost identical to that caused by alcohol consumption.” (Pangman, Horizontal Gaze Nystagmus: 2 DWI J. 1, 3-4 [1987]). With this in mind, if you indicate that you drank coffee, an energy drink or smoked cigarettes, the Horizontal Gaze Nystagmus test is compromised.
Walk and Turn
* Instructions: Take nine heel-to-toe steps along a line, turn, and take nine heel-to-toe steps back.
* Signs of Intoxication: Loss of balance, inability to follow instructions, leaving space between heel and toe, stepping off line, loss of balance while turning.
* How to beat it: The key to passing this test is not looking directly at your feet and the line. Instead, focus on a point on the ground 10 feet in front of you, while keeping your toes and the line in your peripheral vision. Keep your head inline with your spine (don’t lean forward), and concentrate on your center of mass. Make sure you take exactly nine steps. When turning, lift your heels and pivot around on the balls of your feet, then proceed back.
Standing on One Leg
* Instructions: Stand with heels together, arms at side, then raise one leg six inches off the ground while counting until the officer instructs you to stop.
* Signs of Intoxication: Arm movement, hopping, swaying, inability to stand still, putting the foot down, body tremors, muscle tension, and any statements made during the test.
* How to beat it: Don’t talk to the officer. If you have to, answer questions with a “yes” or “no.” Keep your head inline with your spine, and lift your leg from the top of your thigh. Try to balance your weight on the heel and ball of your grounded foot, and focus on a spot on the ground ten feet in front of you.
Finger to Nose
* Instructions: Place feet together, stand straight up with eyes closed, and bring your index finger to your nose.
* Signs of Intoxication: Body sway, muscle tension, eyelid tremors, body tremors or any statements made to support a finding of intoxication.
* How to beat it: Once again, do not talk to the officer. Stand as straight as you can, with your head inline with your body. Balance yourself before closing your eyes. Extend your arms straight out along your shoulder line, palms down. Without moving your arm, bend your elbow in a controlled movement bringing your index finger to your nose.
Rhomberg Balance Test
* Instructions: Close eyes, tilt head back, and estimate 30 seconds.
* Signs of Intoxication: : Inability to stand still, opening eyes to maintain balance, body or eyelid tremors, swaying, muscle tension or statements made during the test. The officer is also testing the internal clock (which is slow in the case of alcohol or depressants, or fast in the case of stimulants).
* How to beat it: This test is all about your internal clock. To make sure that you are close to the time, you should use a trick to maintain your tempo, like “one one thousand, two one thousand,” or “one alligator, two alligator,” etc.
Other Field Sobriety Tests include finger tapping, hand clapping, counting backwards, or reciting the alphabet.
30.4.07
Drunk Driving... read these tips
Beer spas...seriously?
So, at 3 am, logically this topic came up for conversation in casa...can't think of much else to say about it.
Beer Spas: Yeast of Eden
By EVAN RAIL
Published: April 30, 2006
Interest Guide
Spas
THERE is something perversely satisfying about soaking in a tub of beer. First there is the yeasty aroma of malt and hops, followed by a warm and sticky sensation as the brown liquid envelopes your body. You think to yourself: this must be every lad's dream. Whatever comes next will surely have to involve a supermodel, an Aston Martin and a fat cigar.
But bathing in beer is much more than just a fantasy made real. During the last decade, a pack of beer spas have opened in the hills and lowlands of Austria, Germany and the Czech Republic, promising health, wellness and the chance to bathe in your favorite suds.
The Chodovar brewery in Chodova Plana, in the Czech Republic (420-374-794-181; www.chodovar.cz), started offering beer spa therapies in March using the brewery's celebrated dark lager. At the Kummeroer Hof in Neuzelle, Germany (49-33-652-81-111; www.klosterbrauerei.com), customers have been slipping into beer baths tapped from the nearby Klosterbrauerei Neuzelle brewery since 1997. Spa prices start at about 42 euros ($52.50 at $1.24 to the euro). But it is in neighboring Austria that the beer spa seems to reach its alpine pinnacle.
One brewery, Starkenberg (43-5412-66201; www.bierschwimmbad.com), in Tarrenz, even fills a swimming pool with barrels and barrels of its own Pilsner. And just outside Salzburg, the Landhotel Moorhof in rustic Franking, Austria (43-6277-8188; www.moorhof.com) offers what may be the most complete beer treatment, from the spa to the dining table.
In the cellar, four couple-size wooden tubs are filled with a special brew. The Moorhof also offers milk baths, but Hedwig Bauer, who owns the hotel with her husband, Karl, believes that beer has certain advantages. "Beer is very good for the skin, because of the vitamins and the yeast," Ms. Bauer said. "It's cleansing and drying."
That may be true, but it's worth noting that the half-hour treatment, which starts at 44 euros, is also mildly intoxicating. The Moorhof's therapeutic brew is composed of a 2 percent-alcohol lager made for it by the local Schnaitl brewery, fortified with brewer's yeast, malt and two scoops of hops, all thrown into a barrel-shaped tub and topped with warm water. Bubbles rise from the bottom, stirring the mix and causing a head to form — much like a Jacuzzi or giant mug.
During the soak, a few pints of Schnaitl's beer are offered for imbibing, suggesting that the relaxation is chemically rather than therapeutically induced. After about 20 minutes, you're wrapped in a starched white sheet and led to a four-poster bed piled with toasty alfalfa hay. The curtains are drawn and you're left to have a mild sweat. Go ahead, just try to stay awake.
When you finally come to, you're invited to take a cool dip in the indoor swimming pool, provided, of course, you rinsed the green hops flakes from your body; they stick just about everywhere.
If the whole thing sounds somewhat masculine, Ms. Bauer was surprised that many of the beer bath's customers are women, a number of whom also splurge on a brewski facial — a gooey mask made from ground hops, malt, honey and cream cheese. The concoction tickles furiously when it slides down your cheeks, and it smells remarkably like breakfast.
Couples are welcome. A beer-bath weekend for two at the Moorhof costs 198 euros a person, and includes two nights at the hotel, breakfast and two four-course dinners. The menu recently featured a yeasty beer soup, beer-battered broccoli and chicken schnitzel with sour beer gravy. Dessert was beer crepes, which you can wash down with a choice of four local brews.
29.4.07
Pee Wee's Funhouse
"In 1991, a year after Pee-wee's Playhouse was cancelled, Reubens was arrested in an adult movie theater, where police said he was "indecently exposed" and presumably masturbating. He pleaded no contest, and was fined $135. The media vilified him as a pervert, and reruns of Pee-wee's Playhouse were abruptly jerked off the air.
In 2001, Reubens' house was raided by police, who confiscated 30,000 items from his collection of vintage erotica. The DA waited 364 days (one day before the statute of limitations would have run out) and then alleged that some of it was "child pornography" -- decades-old physique poses, old art photos, and yellowed nudist magazines. Some of the nude photos were of minors -- when the pictures were taken, but most of the models would have been dead of old age before Reubens was born. All of the photos, Reubens maintained, were legal when they were first published. Again, though, he settled. The charges were reduced to "obscenity", and Reubens pleaded guilty and paid a $100 fine in exchange for probation."
The Truth about Sushi and Japanese Restaurants
A conversation of two Japanese people, one whom has returned from a trip from Australia and explains their global practical joke. What a bunch of Sushis indeed!
Yo Yo Ma
The Worlds Greatest Yo Yo Guy - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!
As I've said before, Asians are amazing
28.4.07
27.4.07
26.4.07
Photocopier
If you don't listen to fujiya & miyagi then you should.
Also this guy is cooler than you.
i heart infomercials
So, I'm new to this whole blog business, which i think is a good thing...but Dave's training me so this is my testing ground. Hope yall don't mind..and yeah i said yall..learn to embrace it.
Anyway, I was having a crappy day, this infomercial came on at like 1:30 am and basically infrawave ovens made my day. you can cook anything in about half an hour, assuming you don't mind cooking your food that way.
Enjoy!
I.B.S. Tiger
This is a clear example of how dangerous a tiger can be. They can attack when you least expect it.
Get Crunk on Snake Wine
"The snakes are immersed in 100% rice wine in special glass bottles and then they are sealed and stored in a cellar for five years... The wines, containing substances necessary for the human body, are high quality tonics. Regularly drinking appropriate quantities of the wines can moisturize your skin, improve your appetite, and strengthen your bones, tendons and muscles. They are used to treat general fatigue, hair loss, migraine headaches, rheumatism, and neurasthenia. The tonic wines do not cause dryness syndrome, such as constipation, thirst, dryness of the throat and nose. People of all ages and both sexes, including pregnant women, can drink them in four seasons"
Guy Interviews Porn Stars
Here are some excerpts from "Zach" interviewing a few porn stars.
Jilly Kelly:
Zack: I'm a huge fan of your work! Thanks for talking with me!
Jlklly: Aw, that's sweet, thank you!
Zack: I have dropped a lot of monster loads down the hatch of the lovedoll modeled after you.
Jlklly: Okay...
Zack: Her hair comes out very easily, does your hair come out very easily?
Jlklly: No, it's pretty firmly stuck into my head.
Zack: FANTASY DESTROYED. Can you give me my money back for this unrealistic piece of junk?
Jlklly: This is ridiculous.
Zack: I'm glad you share in my outrage. I think together we can fight this.
Jlklly has disconnected****
Ava Devine:
Zack: I really appreciate you taking the time to talk with me.
Dveyenn: no probs
Zack: As a cyborg, do you feel that humanity's fear of your kind may lead to infringements on your civil liberties?
Dveyenn: what?
Zack: Within your community do you differentiate between voluntary cyborgs and medically necessitated cyborgs?
Dveyenn: a cyborg?
Zack: Have you ever been having sex in one of your movies and received a positronic brain signal to crush the pitiful man-thing into a meat paste?
Dveyenn: youre fucking crazy
Zack: What's the hardest thing you can bite through?
Dveyenn: bye bye
Zack: WWWWWAAAAUGH can you bite through this stone cutter? Can you see how I'm shaking it at my computer using your infrared matrix-interfaced cyborg eyes?!
Dveyenn has disconnected****
Jessica Darlin:
Zack: It's really good to talk with you Jessica, thanks for taking the time.
LilDarlin: Thx
Zack: Is it fair to say that you're known for your DP work?
LilDarlin: lol sure
Zack:Do you think that you can still feel love after you have had two penises in your butt at the same time?
LilDarlin: Offcourse
Zack:Even when that love is going into your butt?
LilDarlin: Fuck off
Zack: Quick follow up on that, do you believe in ghosts?
LilDarlin has disconnected****
25.4.07
24.4.07
I love the Economist
Dear Economist,
I have been going out with a school friend for nearly a year and I think he’s “the one” - but we are heading off to university at opposite ends of the country. Will the relationship survive? Is there anything I can do to keep it going?
Yours sincerely,
Natasha, Co. Durham
.............................................................................................................................................
Dear Natasha,
I understand your concern, but your future looks bright. A long-distance relationship will always put pressure on both of you, but it’s a question of how you use that to your advantage.
Economist Tyler Cowen, a professor at George Mason University, has pointed out that the Alchian-Allen theorem applies to any long-distance relationship.
The theorem, briefly, implies that Australians drink higher-quality Californian wine than Californians, and vice-versa, because it is only worth the transportation costs for the most expensive wine. Similarly, there is no point in traveling to see your boyfriend for a take-away Indian meal and an evening in front of the telly. To justify the trip’s fixed costs, you will require champagne, sparkling conversation and energetic sex. Insist on it.
Meanwhile, optimal- experimentation theory suggests that at this tender stage of life you are highly likely to meet someone even better. Socialize a lot while your boyfriend is not around.
Finally, consider your bargaining strength with potential new boyfriends with regard to, for instance, who pays for dinner. Your best alternative to a negotiated agreement with the new boyfriend is. your old boyfriend, who by your admission is an excellent catch.
This puts you in a sound negotiating position - unless, of course, the boy is maintaining a long-distance relationship of his own.
23.4.07
Tribute to Boris Yeltsin
Boris Yeltsin, who played a key role in the Soviet Union's demise and became Russia's first president, has died aged 76
We'll miss you fat russian dancing guy.
Yes, I obviously am just looking for a reason to put the peanut butter jelly song on the blog.
22.4.07
Ummm yeahhhhhh.
Okay, so once in a while you search for something (Say Sobe)and something totally random comes up (Helga's Mailroom).
Anyways I figured I'd share the Collection of Writings by Liquid Generation's Beloved Uncircumcised Pre-Operative Transsexual, Helga.
GYM CLASS HEROES: Cupids Chokehold (Breakfast in America re)
remixing a supertramp song is pretty damn sweet in my book
21.4.07
20.4.07
97x, Bam! the future of Rock and Roll!!!!!
{-inurl:(htm|html|php) intitle:"index of" +"last modified" +"parent directory" +description +size +(wma|mp3) "weezer"
If you want to use google to find mp3s, just change "weezer" for any band name. Keep the band name between "". It works great, if you want to see a great song, then here is the url.
http://jaemani.com/weezer/weezer-islandinthesun.mp3
97x, Bam! the future of Rock and Roll!!!!!
Don,t pirate music, I am drunk
19.4.07
How to eat sushi
The instructions given in this video are priceless. It teaches you how to eat sushi the traditional way, so that you don't disrespect anyone if you are in Japan
18.4.07
Marijuana Compound Might Fight Lung Cancer
"While smoking marijuana is never good for the lungs, the active ingredient in pot may help fight lung cancer, new research shows.
Harvard University researchers have found that, in both laboratory and mouse studies, delta-tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) cuts tumor growth in half in common lung cancer while impeding the cancer's ability to spread."
Apparently this guy is really happy about it:
And so is Arnold:
So are these kids,
I feel bad because the poor mom she was sleep, those kids need to be displin!
VTech Shooter Cho Seung-Hui's Plays
Here are two of the very twisted plays that were obtained by his former classmate Ian MacFarlane...
"Cho was in my playwriting class last fall, and nobody seemed to think much of him at first. He would sit by himself whenever possible, and didn't like talking to anyone. [...] A major part of the playwriting class was peer reviews. We would write one-act plays and submit them to an online repository called Blackboard for everyone in the class to read and comment about in class the next day. [...] When we read Cho's plays, it was like something out of a nightmare. The plays had really twisted, macabre violence that used weapons I wouldn't have even thought of. Before Cho got to class that day, we students were talking to each other with serious worry about whether he could be a school shooter. I was even thinking of scenarios of what I would do in case he did come in with a gun, I was that freaked out about him."
Richard McBeef
Mr. Brownstone
Tarantino's Foot Fetish
Every guy out there has got to be a Tarantino fan... and most of us know of his foot fetish, even Grindhouse had an overdose of unnecessary foot scenes. Heres a compiled list of some of Tarantino's foot highlights:
Pulp Fiction: The numerous of shots of Mia's (Uma Thurman) feet while dancing and apparently 
when meeting w/ her to talk about the movie he offered to give her a "friendly foot rub"
Jackie Brown: Louis (Robert De Niro) first spots Melanie (Bridget Fonda) early in the film by noticing her toe ring next to his drink. A closeup of Fonda's footsies next to his ice-filled drink does catch the eye though.
Kill Bill: "When Thurman's The Bride wakes from a coma and escapes from the hospital in Kill Bill, she struggles to get her paralyzed feet to regain sensation. For what seems like minutes these totemic toes fill the screen. "
And of course..... From Dusk Till Dawn:
17.4.07
Quararibea Bombacacea
Found in El Valle the Anton in Republic of Panama, Quararibea Bombacacea is a tree almost with an almost perfectly square trunk.
One of the few standing Square trees
Silent Library with Ernesto Hoost
YAY FOR JAPAN!!!!!!
Ernesto "Mr. Perfect" Hoost (born July 11, 1965) is a Dutch kickboxer and four-time K-1 World Champion from The Netherlands
Meaning of Life?
"Oh tell me who was the first to declare to proclaim that man does vile things only because he does not realize his true interests; that if he were enlightened, if his eyes were open to his true, normal interests, he would immediately cease committing abominations, but would immediately become good and noble, because, being enlightened and understanding his true advantage, he would inevitably see that only goodness is to his advantage and everybody knows that no man will knowingly act against his own interests."
Dostoevsky
ð
VTech Massacre
The Virginia Tech massacre resulted in the death of 32 victims, and was committed by a currently unidentified gunman on April 16, 2007 at Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University in Blacksburg, Virginia, United States. Government officials, the university, and most news sources have confirmed 33 dead, including the gunman, making it the deadliest civilian shooting in U.S. history
Everyone I know at VTech seems to be okay, wikipedia is hosting an entry that is constantly changing as the the newest news details as the story begins to progress. Just thought Id share.
... Also no nappy headed hoes appear to be injured
16.4.07
Back to the Future to the Back to the Future
We all remember the awesome pair of sneaker Marty Mcfly wore in Back To The Future II. They had a self locking lace system, they lit up, and they were just gangster.
Well gangsters, soon enough your time to shine MAY come back...
There is even an online petition to Nike to bring em back called MCFLY2015... if you want to sign click on the link above.
Anyways, I'm kinda pissed the Pump hasn't come back in full force, if anyone agrees then make a petition and I'll sign it.
Done Watching American Idol?... Feel like drinking a Coke?
Although most business people are fully aware of product placement as an effective tool to (subliminally) market to customers, most people dont actually know the statistics of how common it really is...
Bill Carter wrote in a NYTimes article:
" Searching for ways to thwart any trend toward skipping commercials on programs recorded on personal video recorders like TiVo, the networks are increasingly integrating their sponsors and their products into the shows themselves, rather than limiting their presence to commercials. Ford Motor and Coca-Cola, for example, are two of the advertisers that have paid millions of dollars to have their logos prominently displayed during episodes of "American Idol."
Heres some stats on the product placement market:
Global paid product placement grew 37.2% to $3.36 billion in 2006 and is forecast to grow 30.3% to $4.38 billion in 2007 according to PQ Media. The growth is attributed to relaxed European regulations, emerging Asian markets and shifting American models.
The US is the largest global market for product placement, accounting for 66% of spending but it predicted that this will decelerate over the next four years. Europe and Asia placement markets are expected to accelerate as legal restraints are lifted and global brand marketers move to capitalise on emerging opportunities in these regions. (We believe South Africa will follow this trend as well.)
TV placements remain the dominant choice of brand marketers, accounting for 71.4% of global spending in 2006 at $2.40 billion, with projected growth of 33.9% in 2007. Film placements comprised 26.4%, or $885.1 million, of global spending in 2006 with forecasted growth of 20.5% this year, driven by more cross-promotional packages linking movie placements to ad spots, websites and point-of-purchase displays, as well as virtual embedding for local targeting. Placements in other media account for only 2% of total spending but growth will exceed 30% over the next several years due to increased demand for videogame and online placements aimed at the elusive 18- to 34-year-old demographic.
The Americas will continue as the largest and fastest-growing region for paid product placement in 2007, with projected spend of $3.79 billion and growth of 31.2%, followed by Asia and Europe. The US will remain the world's largest market for product placement in 2007 with spending of $2.90 billion, followed by Brazil, Mexico, Australia, and Japan. China will be the world's fastest-growing product placement market in 2007 with spending growth of 34.5%, trailed by the U.S., Italy, India and Canada.
15.4.07
At least 6 million Americans do cocaine every year, making it more popular than 50 Cent’s last album
A pretty cool story about the development of a NYC coke dealer from his average white middle class household
Goldenpalace.com Monkey... Yes thats the real species name
...The species was discovered on a research expedition instigated by Dr. Robert Wallace of the Wildlife Conservation Society. The field expedition team, consisting of Annika M. Felton, Adam Felton, and Ernesto Cáceres, were the first researchers to film and record this species, previously unknown to science. Rather than choosing a name themselves, Wallace, his team, and WCS auctioned off the naming rights to raise funds for FUNDESNAP (Fundación para el Desarrollo del Sistema Nacional de Áreas Protegidas), the nonprofit organization that maintains Madidi National Park. GoldenPalace.com, one of over a dozen bidders, paid US$ 650,000.
Global Warming Gestapo
...................."Last year the top climate scientist at NASA, James Hansen, reported that his bosses were trying to censor his lectures, papers and web postings. He was told by public relations officials at the agency that there would be “dire consequences” if he continued to call for rapid reductions in greenhouse gases(12)..........
The Union of Concerned Scientists found that 58% of the 279 climate scientists working at federal agencies in the US who responded to its survey reported that they had experienced one of the following constraints. 1. “Pressure to eliminate the words ‘climate change,’ ‘global warming’, or other similar terms” from their communications. 2. Editing of scientific reports by their superiors which “changed the meaning of scientific findings”. 3. Statements by officials at their agencies which misrepresented their findings. 4. “The disappearance or unusual delay of websites, reports, or other science-based materials relating to climate”. 5. “New or unusual administrative requirements that impair climate-related work”. 6. “Situations in which scientists have actively objected to, resigned from, or removed themselves from a project because of pressure to change scientific findings.” They reported 435 incidents of political interference over the past five years(9)..."
13.4.07
Don't !!!
Okay, so I saw the movie Grindhouse last night and I thought it was fucking awesome!!! If you get past the fact that its three something hours, and if you dont mind the titties and gore, then you will absolutely love this movie.
Anyways I kinda feel like rose mcgowan looks hotter with a gun leg. And if you've seen the movie, during the first car crash this dude in the front row screams FUCKING AWESOME. Hahaha fat guy in the front row you're fucking awesome.
So cough up the ten bucks and laugh for 3 hours.
DONT!
home prices may plunge as much as 20 percent because of rising defaults on riskier mortgages
"It will be the biggest housing-price decline since the Great Depression"
Andy Would Be a Better President than Nixon
I think Andy Warhol scares the piss out of me because he naturally looks like a clown
Deep Throat Tutorial
One time my whole family went to the Renaissance festival. To say the least it was amazing, definitely go to one if you have a chance. So this magic, sword swallowing, gypsy-like fellow chooses my mom to come up on stage. Although I was throughly embarrassed about my lame ass mom being chosen, I was also intrigued because it would give me proof that this guy wasnt a phony. Anyways in the short, the guys steals my moms watch, then she pulls out an inch thick- two foot long screwdriver from out his throat, then at the end of the show he gives her back her thousand-dollarish omega watch. Now that I think about it, the dude probably made about fifty bucks for the show. Therefore proving that crime does in fact pay.
Faggot Joke Overload
"The Doody family from Wolverhampton has been crowned The Faggot Family in a national competition"
I just feel bad for the kid on the right... because this picture will probably haunt him for the rest of his childhood
12.4.07
Fast Food Freestyle
Normally I don't support ghetto douchenozzles... but this obviously took a lot of practice
Thom Yorke, Radiohead - Speed Painting
If you love radiohead or photoshop art you should check this out...really good stoned as well
Epic Marijuana Cave
Its a shame that he got caught.... In case you were wondering how, his racket got caught stealing power from the local energy company.
Titties and Steaks
Where Only the Salad Is Properly Dressed
A critics review of Penthouse's Robert Steakhouse.... this is definitely on my list of places to visit
Clotaire Rapaille
Okay, so apparently this guy is the guru of marketing.... The article looks dull and boring at first but is actually really cool. I like how the guy is paid hundreds of thousands of dollars by the hour, yet he goes on a rant about how we are born with a reptilian brain.
Anyways the article is sweet. Enjoy the read
My First Post!
Hey Everyone!
This is my first post on my first blog ever. My level of nerdom has reached a new low. Anyways if you want me to add you as a user please let me know...
Please share, comment, and post as much as possible.
-Dave
